Day Twenty

By far the funniest practice ever.

Warning: Do not forget to wash your yoga clothes the night before or you may end up wearing no pants.

Well, not quite. I did forget to wash my yoga clothes and was left with very few options: Bathing suit, or board shorts and yoga top. I opted for bathing suit bottoms under board shorts and white yoga top (which I now know becomes see through when you soak it in a gallon of sweat, oops.)

During the Bikram yoga sequence there is a time 25 minutes into the practice that some call party time. Jamie, one of our teachers, says it's the saddest party in the world; a few deep breaths and a sip of water. (You refrain from water the first 25 minutes to warm up, and yeah I know, it's already 104 degrees, but ok.)

So the first 25 minutes for me was borderline miserable, mostly because of the board shorts. They were too hot, too long, to wrong for practice. So, I thought to myself, you have a bathing suit on just get over it and take off your pants!

Well, that is exactly what I did. During 'party' time I whipped off my board shorts leaving myself standing, immediately cooler, in just my bathing suit bottoms.

It's the thing with Bikram, I've noticed that you leave all inhibitions at the door, and you don't care because it is just so hot. I think some people would show up naked if they would let you.

After class, It was pretty funny discussing the pants removal with the teachers. Derek said, "At one point I looked over and you had no pants on." Haha.

Well, I wont make it a habit to show up to parties with no pants on, but if said parties are heated to a staggering 104 degrees, watch out.

Day Eighteen and Nineteen

Bikram yoga day eighteen left me so tired I completely forgot to write about it. I went about what has become my Thursday routine. Wake up, have tea, check email, make a big fuss about all the emails I don't have time to answer, calm myself, go teach to a group of amazing yogis, come home, eat lunch with Josh, check and respond to emails, go to Bikram, proceed to get my ass totally kicked- not that I needed any help on this day, hurry home, shower, go teach to a new group of amazing yogis, return home, check and respond to emails....crash. There wasn't a seamless flow to the moments in between, everything was rushed, and hurried. It was a day full of yoga and a day without yoga in a sense- the in between stuff, the added doses of worry here and there. It was a day that reminded me of how much pressure I put on myself.

A lot. I am admitting here and now that I expect a great deal out of myself, sometimes to my detriment.

So, how did I begin my Bikram yoga day nineteen? By rolling out of bed at 9:00 (late), hurrying to find my yoga clothes and mat, running out the door and down the street to show up in time for my Bikram class. I was greeted at the desk with, "The newspaper is here and they are going to be taking some photos and videos." Oh my gosh are you kidding?!?! Let that go, push my body to the limit for 90 minutes, s l o w i t d o w n, walk calmly back home, take a nice relaxing shower, check new emails, write blog. It is my intention for the rest of the day to focus on the in between yoga, the transitions, the places where the monkey mind takes over. I want those times to be mine too, for them to not get caught up in the whirlwind that I can so easily create around myself.

Maybe take it easy, it is Friday after all.

Day Seventeen

Practice today was very invigorating. I walked in the studio feeling tired and a bit lethargic after having spent the majority of the day working on the computer. The heat really took the edge off as soon as entered the studio.

It's funny how one of the most uncomfortable aspects of this practice in the beginning has become so comforting now. My strength came out of nowhere today, maybe I was accessing some hidden reservoir, perhaps it was because of the time of day.

My body continues to surprise me. Just when I think I have reached my edge in a pose, I go that much deeper. The pace of physical transformation is very quick these days. I am sure it will slow eventually, but I am enjoying extending my flexibility through strength. It reminds me of my dancing days. It also reminds me of how smart the body is, that it can acquire muscle memory through repetition and in so little time!

I must remember though, everyday is a new day, who knows how it will be tomorrow.

I'm gonna go back and find out.

Day Sixteen

What I like best about this practice is the sequence. It's one of the same reasons I am attracted to Ashtanga. You can see improvement with time. I know that my body may not move like this forever, but I am going to keep it as tuned up as I can. I felt like a rock today. Solid, sturdy, focused and calm. Many of my poses were deeper than they ever have been. I feel like I am getting the 'locked' leg and my quads are getting super strong. I can feel my body using muscles I didn't even know existed, but then I have definitely said that before. Maybe in all these 26 years I haven't really been using my body to it's fullest potential, or maybe it was all the slacking off in college I am making up for. Regardless, it feels good. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, I will at least know I did it full out today.

Don't put off tomorrow, what you can do today.

Well, I didn't.

Day Fifteen

Wow, I didn't realize it until I typed it but I am halfway through my Bikram Yoga journey. Today's class was hard, really hard. Towards the end I was really having trouble getting my energy to stay even. It felt half-assed at times, even though I was working as hard as I could.

Monday, Monday, and now as I write this I am feeling even more tired. As one of the teachers Derek says, "the practice gives you exactly what you need." Well today I need a nap, but unfortunately can't take one. I am going to be nice to myself and not push beyond this afternoon. I will do my work with a clear head and heart, and move throughout my day as peacefully as I can.

Yoga today has shown me that I need some rest, it didn't give me the usual extra boost of energy and that is ok with me. I would have liked a little extra umph for the beginning of this week, but hey work with what you're given right.

Day Fourteen

Bikram Yoga day fourteen. It seems like these two weeks have flown by at super sonic speed. Time flies when you are having fun right. Well that's just it, Bikram yoga is fun for me. I am really enjoying the challenge and it reminds me of times in my life when I have engaged in exciting outdoor adventures like kayaking, rock climbing and hiking. I love the way this yoga 'excites' my body from bones to skin, as they say. It is truly invigorating and filling a hole that outdoor sports used to. I love seeing what the human body is capable of, mine and other peoples.

I am continually fascinated by the people that show up in the room. Today there was a 12 year old boy. Just think if we had all started practicing yoga that young, I envision a bunch of my friends just sitting in lotus pose hovering a few feet off the ground bending spoons and such, appearing in two places at once, and so on and so forth. It is a magical practice.

My body felt pushed to the limit today, in a good way. It was more challenging than normal- mostly mind stuff, and also the energy in the room effects me greatly. When other people's energy dies around you, it is hard not to fall like dominoes. At one point though, it gave me a little more umph to push harder hoping to bring the energy of the room back up with my energy. At other times, it made me want to crawl in a little bawl on my towel and not move for the rest of the class.

I feel really good now after practice and the walk home was very quiet for the streets that are normally bustling, serene even.

Not a bad Sunday afternoon I must say.

Day Thirteen

My body and mind feel lighter, I think I am nicer to myself and others, I am full of gratitude and love. I'm not as worried, I am less anxious, more free. I am more grounded, less resentful, more gracious, less angry. I am healthy and happy. My glass is more than half way full. I am really starting to dig the routine, the Virgo in me loves it. I miss downward dog and headstand, I will visit them again soon.